I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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