he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
