I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
