we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
