already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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