At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
