so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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