Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
