So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
