hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
there is puke in my bra ... again
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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