I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize