i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
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You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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