i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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