Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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