Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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