That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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