the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
