In America we eat man semen.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
