I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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