Just fell off a train. Bad.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
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You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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