it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
