once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
