Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
