We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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