How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
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I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
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Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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