I just made out with a guy for $7.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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