A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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