what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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