just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
