Three words: puerto rican gang bang
where am i from again
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Randomize
