I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
