Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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