We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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