i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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