the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
