i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
