I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
