Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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