I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
