So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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