i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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