what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
