He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
