I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
