apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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