his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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