I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just puked most of my soul out..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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