I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just cut my nipple shaving
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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