She announced her abortion via fbk
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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