at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
