he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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