I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
well you can't waste a boner
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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