I just made out with a guy for $7.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
