I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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