now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
