I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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