Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
