His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
