Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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