Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
