My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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