google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
