Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
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Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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